oswald strikes again...

Paul was devoted to a Person not to a cause. He was absolutely Jesus Christ's, he saw nothing else, he lived for nothing else. "For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him crucified."

more good advice...

"keep your life so constant in its contact with God that His surprising power may break out on the right hand and on the left. always be in a state of expectancy, and see that you leave room for God to come in as He likes."

thanks, oswald.

postcard to matthew.

row, row, row your boat.

i wake up some mornings and find that it's going to be a scissor day. a day when words that had been lying dormant in me wake up and look me in the face...telling me it's time to move. they begin to fill my heart with all kinds of aching again. so i have to cut even more of you out of me if i want to get any further down the stream. but these scissors are so heavy to hold.

solitary.

A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him.
-Soren Kierkegaard

hmmm...

no sleep. i'm trying. but there's none there for me. so i'm just sitting here with tea and my dear soul sissie, lisa.

in earnest...again.

these were my new year's resolutions last year. when i read them again, instead of a sense of accomplishment, i felt a resolve to pursue them deeper. so here's to my list. earnestly. again. and this picture is by my kelle-belle. my friendship with her has been a blessing in developing the second thing on this list. grateful for you, dear. ALLways.

asking and working for the resolve to:

refuse the growth of apathy in the pursuit of Truth and be devoted to the growth in depth and width of this Truth.

learn of gratitude that does not die at words, but changes oneself. to express this gratitude relentlessly.

be aware of those that surround oneself, to continue in the pursuit of knowing them, and to give them the space to be their unique self.

develop the emotion of longing for the absent into hoping for their joy.

grow this list in the pursuit of the preceding.

em forster.

It is the vice of a vulgar mind to be thrilled by bigness, to think that a thousand square miles are a thousand times more wonderful than one square mile, and that a million square miles are almost the same as heaven.

still.

"just enough dark to see. how You're the Light over me."

-tallest man on earth; the dreamer

to my little dancer in chicago...

thinking of you...

a picture into my "then."

yes, please :)

a proud momma, fighting for human rights.

this is hanne dahl from denmark, voting on paternal rights.

via: here.

love is a mix tape vol. 9

"don't hold back. all your love."

"i would say that i'm sorry. if it would do any good. but to never regret means you have to forget, and i don't think that i could."

01 Please Speak Well Of Me/The Weepies by suzylee

fight the fatigue.

because one could not be made up of only ideals. one needed a heart to go with those ideals. one needed hopes, dreams, fears, and stories to be real.

winter's coming...

the land of enchantment.

hoping to spend a good amount of time in new mexico while i'm home this winter. verrrrry excited and i'm quite sure that those desert sunsets have good things in store for this soul.

the heart. it melted, til it could be seen no more.

"in missionary enterprise the great danger is that God's call is effaced by the needs of the people until human sympathy absolutely overwhelms the meaning of being sent by Jesus. the needs are so enormous, the conditions so perplexing, that every power of mind falters and fails. we forget that the one great reason underneath all missionary enterprise is not first the elevation of the people, nor the education of the people, nor their needs; but first and foremost the command of Jesus Christ - "go ye therefore, and teach all nations."

when looking back on the lives of men and women of God the tendency is to say - what wonderfully astute wisdom they had! how perfectly they understood all God wanted! the astute mind behind is the Mind of God, not human wisdom at all. we give credit to human wisdom when we should give credit to the Divine guidance of God through childlike people who were foolish enough to trust God's wisdom and the supernatural equipment of God." -oswald chambers; my utmost for His highest.

photo credit: xraygary. :)

dear heart,

dear heart, today was another day. tomorrow will be another.

in each i beg of you to grow and change.

in each, i beg of you to rearrange.

dear heart, we received good news today.

our dear friend grace had things to say...

it looks like he's coming. and he's coming back to stay.

love is a mix tape vol. 8

fences claim they can separate

the ownership of landscape

and the street lights shine

and the sprinklers run all night

behind suburban walls and tall gates

but a breeze decides

if a seed will bloom or die

scatter out and multiply

and when rain comes through

to tap dance on my roof

i'm stuck but i am satisfied. to stay in.

oh river we are grieving, we've lost surprise here

our fruits are out of season, we sell them all year

we flee from fear.

and the days grow long

and sunshine is our song

the hot light makes our skin tight

and the house stays warm

so we sleep on the porch

and hope the stars will stay in our eyes

through winter

oh river come and take me

and make my eyes new

i'm tired of resisting

i've tried to bend you

we're afraid to see the blue lines

lead to the blue sea

cause we spend all of our time

trying to be something. more than something.

but there were fireflies in brooke's backyard that night

we fought the hot july in brooklyn with white wine

and to think that i'd been spending all my time

believing i decide what falls before my eyes

all we're after anymore is self control.

but we have to trade our wonder for it, we grow cold.

oh river, wash me deep. down to the sea and let it wash me over.

-joel p west; we sleep on the porch.

love is a mix tape vol. 7

i've become quite ill in the past few days and i have to admit that it has been a huge struggle. the pain's been so intense at times that i feel consciousness beginning to shut down. but i've been reminded of what God can do in times of such powerlessness. at one point in the middle of experiencing severe waves of pain, i felt like i heard a voice saying "where is He now?" and immediately i was able to answer..."He's next to me." although the pain has been unbearable at times, He's made His presence known to me, and the kindness of His presence is what's getting me through. here's a song that i've had to listen to over and over again to push through.

i'd like to preface these lyrics by saying that i've capitalized the O in our because these lyrics to me, don't mean that God is on our (Christian's) side. the God i believe in is bigger than that. the Heart i put my trust in is far larger than that. regardless of whether you're a Christian or not, i believe that He is on Our (as a collective whole) side.

God is Our refuge and Our strength.

He is the power in Our weakness.

He gives new mercy everyday

and gives Us grace enough to free Us

though the mountains fall and the earth decay

We will not fear, Lord.

We hope in Your name.

hallelujah, God is on Our side.

so in the stillness i will wait

you are my hiding place

i find rest in you.

-jimmy robeson; God is on our side.

good day pbj.

today was the stuff of dreams. not the kind of dreams that are made of lies and false ideals, but the stuff of dreams that builds and grows oneself. the kind of day that isn't even over and you feel full for the hope it contains and the lessons it's bringing. the kind of day that makes one conscious of how thankful they must be for not only this day, but each that has preceded, and each that will follow. it was the kind of day that makes the days that preceded rather important to reflect upon and the days to come real and approaching quite quickly.

it started with the realization that i have this feeling that is growing into a beautiful thing inside of me....it's the feeling of standing in front of something very big...and thinking that i may be beholding a big part of what i was created for. this life of academia once sounded pretentious and stuffy to me, but now i see that if i go forward with a trembling fear of those two beasts, i may find something quite worth finding.

by lunchtime, i had the pleasure of sitting with a new friend from germany. he suggested going to eat at the 2nd floor of the Fraser building, which is the equivalent of our university's cafeteria. i didn't question it directly, but i thought about all the yummy places surrounding the uni that we could go to instead, but thought to myself that who i'm eating with should matter more than what or where i'm eating. as we talked, i asked him if he got to see much of the city and he replied with this..."not so much the city, but the people are of more importance. there are so many people." and i realized then that sebastian was at a place that i want to be, a place i'm pursuing returning to....where it couldn't matter how beautiful or hideous, fragrant or stinky, far or close any place is. a place where the people are of utmost importance. a place where the experience is of utmost value.

and so now...as i prepare to read the night away for a class that i'm so excited and honored to be a part of...this pbj sandwich couldn't be sweeter.

today was a lovely day. it was the stuff of dreams...