everything led to now. now led to then.

summer in france was perfect. i have this 30 second memory from one of our adventure filled days...it floats in and out of my mind, filling my spirit with the deeep warmth i felt in that moment. it was so warm in provence as we hitch hiked through country roads, and the three of us were in our thin summer dresses, letting most of our skin bare to the hot sun, our hair still damp from pool water and wrapped in braids. our backpack's straps buried themselves into our shoulders, but they felt light from the graciousness of adventure. we came to a tight overpass and knew we should run before the next speeding car approached...without words, we began to run...backpacks hitting our bums each time, almost pushing us on quicker into whatever it was that lay before us. i remember looking ahead of me at the two girls, the light from the sun speckling throughout as it glimmered on them through the tree branches, with their braids and dresses flying behind them...in the joy of summer's simplicity.

i'll return to that moment for a lifetime, thankful for everything that lead to that moment, and everything now that will follow.

i shouldn't wonder anymore, but i do.

i still listen to the ocean...i listen to the waves...wondering if they're still whispering our story back to me.

young man.

geez louise. colin caulfield. a big resounding >>yyyyyesssss<< to you.

i can't get enough of your lovvvvvely tunes, including this brilliant cover of my favorite beach house song...

holding on.

via tumblr.

a year later...

i started organizing my things today, preparing to leave scotland in a couple weeks. i sorted through stacks of postcards and letters from friends and family that have sustained me through this year, far away from home. but i also found what felt like relics from a year ago, when i was embarking on this journey. one of those is this scrap of paper, torn out of a journal entry that i wrote a year ago.

can't you?

young.trouble

YOUNG TROUBLE

We don’t pay much attention to the elderly.
Even though they probably know more than us
about what it all truly means.

Even when they’ve done something stellar
like helped win a war fifteen presidents ago
or built the first car
or outlived their entire families
with no special diet or exercise routine to speak of.

Even then we don’t give them much of our time
or try keep them around
close enough so we can listen.

Maybe it’s because they talk so slow
and move so slow
and we’re busy living so fast
scrambling about and trying to fit it all in
burning our youth at both ends
so by the time we get to their age
we’ll have all kinds of fantastic answers
to all kinds of amazing questions.
Fantastic answers to amazing questions…
that no one
will pay much attention to
at all.

-some food for thought by dallas clayton.

::photo from vivian maier collection::

idle ties.

i walk alone, but i feel ya,

smiling upon me, i wonder

what you have drawn on your hands today,

runes to show you remember.

idle ties, ink and dyes,

woven arms, open wide,

you're with me tonight.

put on that tape that you made for me,

it's got marc bolan and vashti

ringin' my ear like a mission bell

come and go dive in the ink well

idle ties, ink and dyes,

sink and sigh,

token charms kept near by,

you're with me tonight.

now the wind answers your telephone,

come on, sing the city soft now

well it'll get to her once you're underground,

signal can't carry in the train down.

idle ties, sing and sigh,

open arms, open wide.

you're with me tonight.

vetiver; idle ties.

crazy excited.

for the strings on this brilliant lady's new album. leslie feist. mad props.

hebrews 11:16.

instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one.

therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God,

for he has prepared a city for them.

hebrews 11:16

tell me no lies...

hey you.

image via: papertissue.tumblr.com

look for the learning.

working on my dissertation perched on the windowsill in montmartre, listening to Bowerbirds, makes something that should be terrifying much too lovely. dear art & human rights, what a tremendous team you make <3 what wonderous change we can see through you. so much gratefulness to a Papa who calls and leads us to see such things...some so terrible and some so beautiful. but all real, and with us together, in this world.

"your face is all i saw"

Vetiver - Right Away by savagehector

right away, you looked like a good friend

like someone i knew when

i lived back in ohio, long ago

a full-filled room, i couldn't make it through

caught the sight of you as you headed for the door

thought i couldn't tell it seemed just as well not to know

i waved goodbye before i tried hello

the gallery felt crowded

i couldn't see the work upon the wall

your face was all i saw.

i wonder if we had...

anything at all.

vetiver-right away; errant charm.

picture via: papertissue.

you are the nightingale.

i am the passing crow.

this song ministers to my heart.

i actually need this verse tattooed on my heart...

since, then, you have been raised with Christ,

set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. for you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

...When Christ, who is your life, appears,

then you also will appear with him in glory...

colossians 3:1-4.

picture via: papertissue.tumblr.com.

no barriers.

img via: papertissue.tumblr.com

radical face.

i called my mumsie to say happy mother's day but quickly realized that she was in a somber mood. my radical mum spent her mother's day driving around alabama to see the wreckage that the tornado left behind. i sat on the phone with her while she prayed for the dozens that are still missing and those that are grieving the 300 others who've left this earth. what a crazy way to spend your mother's day. there are lessons waiting for me everyday in that dear lady. God assigned me a truly radical teacher.

calling down walls.

"for He Himself is our peace, Who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing walls of hostility, by abolishing in His flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in Himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which He put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. for through Him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit." -ephesians 2:14-18.

spring visit to the shire.

...go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,

hidden excitedly, containing laughter.

go, go, go, said the bird: human kind

cannot bear very much reality.

time past and time future

what might have been and what has been

point to one end, which is always present.

-t.s. eliot.