may i be weaved in your hair.

iron and wine; love & some verses.

!!!

what a day.

first i had a really awesome interview with the folks at red hill, which reminded me of why i dream of opening up my own restaurant one day. i grew up working in my parent's restaurant, where i spent my weekends. but as much as i pretended like i hated it, my parents knew better. i loved the environment they created for their customers. they never put out a single advertisement. their business was built 100% on the relationships they developed through the years. in that time, our family saw our regulars get married, graduate, have children, celebrate birthdays, and even mourn losses. they expected my parents to ask them how they were doing, and knew that they actually cared. when my dad passed away, some of our regulars came to his funeral, and others left cards and flowers at our restaurant. our regulars were special people, and we were thankful to be a part of their days. i hope i can recreate that kind of magic for a community i call home one day.

after my interview, i dropped in to vivier & bentley and got to meet my favorite jewelry designer, kathryn bentley. i came away with these lovelies...which i've been smitten with for quite a while.

then! i ran into the candy store in old town pasadena, bc i had no change for the parking meter! look what i found!! stallion bubble gum cigarettes! i used to buy these from the ice cream trucks and hide them in my clothes drawers when i was a littttle girl. mumsie always found them. i always wondered how she knew, but i forgot back then, that she washed all my clothes and was in my dresser drawers 10x more than me. oops.

then there's these. my heart skipped a beat when i saw the box at my doorstep. i've been waiting for these steezies!!! i will have many adventures in these. oh, the things we will see, the places we will go, the mountains we will hike! today we wandered around the reservoir. tomorrow, who knows what we will see :)

Yes to me despite me.

dry bones.

lately i'm so homesick. but no place fills that void. el paso, waco, san diego, glasgow, la. none of these places are my true home. it's awakened in me a desperate hunger for the Kingdom come. i'm so desperate to taste that immense pleasure and comfort of finally just being with Who i was created for, to not question or live in fear, but to be in the depths of His security and grace. until then, He's made a way for me, to be with Him in the here and now. wherever i am. Spirit, come. these dry bones ache for You.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. -Revelation 21:4.

warm whistles.

...how did so little of your time affect so much of mine?

"you're still in my drawer...

secondary sources, to bring me news of you..."

-jillian edwards.

photo via: papertissue.tumblr.com

gusty night...

...and then i remembered. how i could never forget.

loosed grips.

...if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. -luke 9:23-24.

i would rather...

i would rather spend my time getting my hands dirty in adventure with you,

than to spend it pampering and preserving hands that were made to turn rough as we use them to create.

i would rather spend my kisses on you,

a young thing, so full of dreams and possibilities,

than to mourn those old familiar things, that linger with me in quiet

mornings and fearful nights.

i would rather hold you prayerfully and remember how he held me.

the things to be.

i am me. and you are you.

but tragically we cannot be we.

dreams visit me in my sleep.

they beckon me to believe things i've never seen.

helpless hearts grew braver,

blurry eyes grew stronger,

and hope grew in a heart to believe for things to be.

this picture is my woah.

there are lots of pictures out there. and some of them are really really good. this one took my breath away. it kind of breaks my heart for reasons i can't explain. but i'm stuck on it.

life friends.

some sweet parting moments shared with friends who will now always be a part of me.

introducing the dutchman to wayne's world. we're such good americans.

amaretto with the brothers avett.

one of the top 3 supper gatherings of my life. truthfully.

i swear, i think carly glows. she is special.

sweet daniele's special italian drink. a little too grown up tasting for me.

my favorite chef. chez jerrique.

focaccia heaven.

jerrique in action.

....a little break with our baroquial jumping jill!

a quick wipe-down from the italian sous chef...

...and a quick and quiet (maybe a bit awkward) break with mr. bonz later...

and VOILA! a stunning beetroot risotto.

daniele wonders if we can eat such a masterpiece. i concurred.

but then quickly ate with much jolly.

a few nights and one dissertation submittal later, this silliness led

straight up to my departure...

NO ONE. not even kelly chilton can keep a straight face after making THAT face...

i'm going to miss the bagelsmith house.

my favorite dutchman.

the yummiest drink i ever had. courtesy of a bagel sister.
the dutchman.

and a going away card full of puffy sweets stickers. dawny knows me.

i LOVE HER!

and my favvvvorite flour-free cake.

....all of this led straight through the night, practically right up to departure. these are life friends. ones that could make my heart burst....and the ones that made glasgow's bitter cold, sweet and warm. looking forward to a reuniting with these dear hearts soon.

a pitter patter heart.

ringing in my ear, was this truth.

mercy triumphs over judgement.

and i thought of you. for the millionth time. i thought of you.

a year ago.

a year ago i had no clue what and who glasgow would become to me. now there's a space in me that glasgow will always be responsible for, and faces that i'll cherish and long for. a year ago i trembled in my airplane seat, unsure of how or what overtook me, and led me to the city i'd never known. now i can't imagine having spent the last year of my life anywhere else. it seems foolish to be so sure of something, but some things you can't question because of how they've changed you and known you. glasgow has become one.

glasgow, i'll take with me forever.

everything led to now. now led to then.

summer in france was perfect. i have this 30 second memory from one of our adventure filled days...it floats in and out of my mind, filling my spirit with the deeep warmth i felt in that moment. it was so warm in provence as we hitch hiked through country roads, and the three of us were in our thin summer dresses, letting most of our skin bare to the hot sun, our hair still damp from pool water and wrapped in braids. our backpack's straps buried themselves into our shoulders, but they felt light from the graciousness of adventure. we came to a tight overpass and knew we should run before the next speeding car approached...without words, we began to run...backpacks hitting our bums each time, almost pushing us on quicker into whatever it was that lay before us. i remember looking ahead of me at the two girls, the light from the sun speckling throughout as it glimmered on them through the tree branches, with their braids and dresses flying behind them...in the joy of summer's simplicity.

i'll return to that moment for a lifetime, thankful for everything that lead to that moment, and everything now that will follow.

i shouldn't wonder anymore, but i do.

i still listen to the ocean...i listen to the waves...wondering if they're still whispering our story back to me.

young man.

geez louise. colin caulfield. a big resounding >>yyyyyesssss<< to you.

i can't get enough of your lovvvvvely tunes, including this brilliant cover of my favorite beach house song...

holding on.

via tumblr.

a year later...

i started organizing my things today, preparing to leave scotland in a couple weeks. i sorted through stacks of postcards and letters from friends and family that have sustained me through this year, far away from home. but i also found what felt like relics from a year ago, when i was embarking on this journey. one of those is this scrap of paper, torn out of a journal entry that i wrote a year ago.

can't you?