Monday, September 27, 2010

love is a mix tape vol. 7

i've become quite ill in the past few days and i have to admit that it has been a huge struggle. the pain's been so intense at times that i feel consciousness beginning to shut down. but i've been reminded of what God can do in times of such powerlessness. at one point in the middle of experiencing severe waves of pain, i felt like i heard a voice saying "where is He now?" and immediately i was able to answer..."He's next to me." although the pain has been unbearable at times, He's made His presence known to me, and the kindness of His presence is what's getting me through. here's a song that i've had to listen to over and over again to push through.

i'd like to preface these lyrics by saying that i've capitalized the O in our because these lyrics to me, don't mean that God is on our (Christian's) side. the God i believe in is bigger than that. the Heart i put my trust in is far larger than that. regardless of whether you're a Christian or not, i believe that He is on Our (as a collective whole) side.

God is Our refuge and Our strength.
He is the power in Our weakness.
He gives new mercy everyday
and gives Us grace enough to free Us
though the mountains fall and the earth decay
We will not fear, Lord.
We hope in Your name.

hallelujah, God is on Our side.

so in the stillness i will wait
you are my hiding place
i find rest in you.

-jimmy robeson; God is on our side.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

good day pbj.

today was the stuff of dreams. not the kind of dreams that are made of lies and false ideals, but the stuff of dreams that builds and grows oneself. the kind of day that isn't even over and you feel full for the hope it contains and the lessons it's bringing. the kind of day that makes one conscious of how thankful they must be for not only this day, but each that has preceded, and each that will follow. it was the kind of day that makes the days that preceded rather important to reflect upon and the days to come real and approaching quite quickly.

it started with the realization that i have this feeling that is growing into a beautiful thing inside of's the feeling of standing in front of something very big...and thinking that i may be beholding a big part of what i was created for. this life of academia once sounded pretentious and stuffy to me, but now i see that if i go forward with a trembling fear of those two beasts, i may find something quite worth finding.

by lunchtime, i had the pleasure of sitting with a new friend from germany. he suggested going to eat at the 2nd floor of the Fraser building, which is the equivalent of our university's cafeteria. i didn't question it directly, but i thought about all the yummy places surrounding the uni that we could go to instead, but thought to myself that who i'm eating with should matter more than what or where i'm eating. as we talked, i asked him if he got to see much of the city and he replied with this..."not so much the city, but the people are of more importance. there are so many people." and i realized then that sebastian was at a place that i want to be, a place i'm pursuing returning to....where it couldn't matter how beautiful or hideous, fragrant or stinky, far or close any place is. a place where the people are of utmost importance. a place where the experience is of utmost value.

and so i prepare to read the night away for a class that i'm so excited and honored to be a part of...this pbj sandwich couldn't be sweeter.

today was a lovely day. it was the stuff of dreams...

look up.

for too many days, i've been walking through both loud and busy streets as well as quiet and still ones...carrying the weight of heavy eyes. they carry the weight of tears born in shame, pain, and hurt. that weight pushed into my heart. but slowly...i can feel them shifting...i can feel the weight lifting. i can feel them slowly but surely, looking up...and what lovely things abide up there. and the heart so follows...slowly looking up to behold Love.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

love is a mix tape vol. 6

So if you want to get to know me,
follow my smile into it's curves
All these lines are born in sorrows and in pleasures,
and every man ends up with the face that he deserves.
-dawes; when you call my name.

Friday, September 17, 2010

love is a mix tape vol. 5

"You sleep like a kid with one hand stuck fast to the side of your face. Backside in the air, mouth half open, but still filled with grace. And you seem so happy as your skin turns the colour of a violet-golden sky. And it cuts me up when we fight and go to bed facing opposite sides. You're like gasoline. You're like the willow tree. You're like a split-screen. But you're the green in me."-admiral fallow, dead against smoking.

love is a mix tape vol. 4

"He's brought me to the wilderness where i will learn to sing
and He lets me know my barrenness so i will learn to Lean." -laura hackett; beautiful Mercy.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

love is a mix tape vol. 3

I've locked up these words,
in fear that I'd say them wrong.
Is it love as a mountain, or love as a simple song?
And the moment that the two meet
has now laid itself at your feet.

And love is not convenient; it does not cease at your command.
You might take and leave it, but love is all I am.
Love is all I am.

-love is all i am; dawes.

Friday, September 10, 2010

love is a mix tape vol. 2

"it's that sinking feeling of being alone.
and it's the way it makes you screech
and pulls the skin off your bones
and i can't help but think, as i pick my mouth off the floor,
will you still know me in a year?"

-admiral fallow; squeeling pigs

img via:

Thursday, September 9, 2010

love is a mix tape vol. 1

"when we've been There for ten thousand years, our song will be the same. praise to the One who has brought us Here, Jesus is His name."

-phil wickham, in your city.

img via

can't get you off of my heart.

there are lyrics that are alive inside of me. they're breathing deep inside me. they affect the way i look at things, the pace of my step, and the way i go about my days. they're more than a catchy line to me. somewhere deep in me, Papa created a home for not just any fancy lyric, but the real special ones. Papa knew that if He created a place for them there, one day in the right place, time, and context, those little words had His power to change me. so there are lots of things i could tell you about my days in glasgow, lots of pictures i could show you of buildings that millions before me have seen...but i don't think anything quite sums up my days as these lines. so here, i'll begin sharing them with you. in a series named after my favorite book, love is a mix tape.

"The times you lived through, the people you shared those times with — nothing brings it all to life like an old mix tape. It does a better job of storing up memories than actual brain tissue can do. Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they can add up to the story of a life." -rob sheffield, love is a mix tape.