Friday, November 9, 2012

all things.

through Him who strengthens me.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

cou cou, adieu.

here i am again.  i miss you.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

my portion is You.

and the more i know this, the more i become me.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

your cadence.

familiarity, and everything that means.


Monday, July 16, 2012

hearts for eyes.

all of my sighs, sigh of you,
my eyes can't shake the sight.
the way your face looked when i finally opened my eyes.
the sweat bead on your head.
the quiver in your brow.
the tension in your tightened lips.
your hand gripping your chest,
trying to hold back the precious words that pierced me through.
all swallowing me whole in their tragedy.
all of it.  replays in each sigh.
because for you i have only hearts for eyes.

Friday, June 8, 2012


a video from a cozy little show in silverlake, where i got to play with the boys in NO.  edited by the ever-brilliant andrea nahkla.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


and somehow there's still smoke from our fire.
i forget how big it once used to be.
but the smoke will catch my eyes every now and again.
everything goes blurry.

it burns to open my eyes.
so i stop trying so hard to see.
there's some momentary comfort when i keep them closed.
but when my eyes close,
the image of you from across a gallery burns in my head.

a fire once kept me warm.
but a residual vapor burns where there used to be comfort.
the smell of our fire, following me everywhere i go.
cinder, i can't let go, burning in my hands.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

fauxchella 2012

faux-che-lla: v. the act of camping (annually) in joshua tree, together with one's friends, new and old,  for the purpose of creating music.

Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu

"confession is nothing but humility in action.  we used to call it penance, but really it is a sacrament of love, a sacrament of forgiveness.  when there is a gap between me and Christ, when my love is divided, anything can come to fill the gap.  confession is a place where i allow Jesus to take away from me everything that divides, that destroys."
-mother teresa.

Friday, May 25, 2012

t.s. eliot

"time is no healer.  the patient is no longer here."  four quartets; t.s. eliot.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

the more america i want to see...

My year abroad made me appreciate the history of Europe, but more than anything, it stirred a wonder in me for all that America is and has become.  I think being a Poli Sci or International Politics student tends to jade your view of America, but I'm really so amazed by how this land started, and filled with a burden for its recent ways.  But there's so much magic here!  Though there are some really sad things in our past, we also come from a tradition of overcoming and learning.  It makes me remember that there's SO much more I haven't yet discovered about it.  So many places I haven't been and people I haven't known.  There are places that once enchanted me, that I'm longing to revisit.  Here's a list of where I'd like to go/re-go.

1.  Savannah, Georgia
2.  Portland and Bend, Oregon
3.  the Redwoods
4.  the Adirondacks
5.  NYC-in the summer-time.
6.  Billings, Montana
7.  all of the state of New Mexico
8.  The Northeast Kingdom & Champlain Lake Valley in Vermont
9.  back to lake Travis in Austin, TX
10.  ALASKA!!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

hebrews 11:13-16.

"...they admitted they were aliens & strangers on earth.  people who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.  if they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return.  instead they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one.  therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."  -hebrews 11:13-16.

Monday, April 23, 2012

away she hurried, not beautiful, not supremely brilliant, but filled with something that took the place of both qualities-something best described as a profound vivacity, a continual & sincere response to all that she encountered in her path through life. -em forster.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

and a light will flicker on

where there once was none,
where does love come from?

-the chambers & the valves; dry the river.

Friday, April 20, 2012

that was fun!

but now let's hurry home, with gladness in our heart.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

i'm tired now.

but You're worth every sleepless night.


living deep in You.

Papa, Your presence is my home. Forever. And I'll try to know that I have no need to ever be in want.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

a poem. one year ago. recited on the coast of alnwick, northeastern england.

The river is within us, the sea is all about us;
The sea is the land’s edge also, the granite
Into which it reaches, the beaches where it tosses
Its hints of earlier and other creation:
The starfish, the horseshoe crab, the whale’s backbone;
The pools where it offers to our curiosity
The more delicate algae and the sea anemone.
It tosses up our losses, the torn seine,
The shattered lobsterpot, the broken oar
And the gear of foreign dead men. The sea has many voices,
Many gods and many voices.
The salt is on the briar rose,
The fog is in the fir trees.

— T.S. Eliot, ‘The Dry Salvages'-four quartets

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

celebration of you, little minnow.


sometimes i catch myself talking about the weather much too much, and pretending to know about things i don't,
and it reminds me of how as a child i thought grown-ups were so annoying for talking about the weather much too much and pretending to know about things they don't.
then i grow sad that i am already 25 and am supposed to be a grown-up.

but then i remember that i still listen to my music much too loudly, and that i eat ice cream almost exclusively in bed, that i still dance like a maniac alone in my room at least 4 times a week, that sometimes i eat strawberry licorice for breakfast, and that my wallet is completely unorganized. things that make my mum sigh in grief, they make me sigh in relief.

growing up is inevitable they say. but i'll choose to celebrate the minnow. sometimes she's the smarter one in me anyway.

Friday, February 24, 2012

mercy in the form of you.

i can't stop listening to this gotye song. but it keeps bringing these lovelies to mind. i guess they came along at a really lonely and trying time in life. an ocean away from home, these were the ones that showed me another chance.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

thoughts under a tree.

You're the one that I want.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

we are made of love.

recently i've had the pleasure of playing with dear mr. ryan o'neal of sleeping at last. he's not only a really incredibly talented musician, but a very wise soul as well. thankful for his words and the amazing Papa that inspires Him.

"All the blood and all the sweat
That we invested to be loved
Follows us into our end,
Where we begin to understand

That maybe Hollywood was right:
When the credits have rolled and the tears have dried,
The answers that we have been dying to find
Are all pieced together and, somehow,
Made perfectly mine.

We are made of love,
And all the beauty stemming from it.
We are made of love,
And every fracture caused by the lack of love"

//needle and thread\\
///sleeping at last\\\

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

a stirring.

photo via papertissue.

when it all seems too big, too scary, too much,
too grievous, too heavy.

be still.

and there I'll be.

with you. in all the places you are.

this truth
::m o r e t h a n e n o u g h f o r m e:::

Sunday, February 5, 2012

hey, you.

i've been pen pal-ing with my pop's best friend's son in korea. i got to sit and catch up
with their family when i was there a few months ago. i've seen them only a couple times in my life, but always feel so much warmth when i'm with them...from the way they loved my dad.

when i was 18 and my sweet dad went to see our Father, i was 18!! all i could think about was my own own tragedy, my own grief. but the older i get, and the more years that pass, the Lord
gives me glimpses into the loss that other people in my dad's life felt. recently, it's been
this friend of my father's. this man who loved, treasured, and cared for my dad in years
that my dad was making some pivotal decisions about who he would become and the life
he would set out to live. this friend watched and prayed faithfully, as my dad married my mom, began a family, and moved to a country far, far away. when his own family rebuked my dad for chasing dreams that fell out of line with his customary familial duties, this friend was who my dad turned to for prayer, support, and encouragement. and when my dad passed so suddenly,
this man grieved, thousands of miles away, the loss of his dearest friend. as i think about this dear friend, and the beauty of the way he loved my dad so faithfully, even now, i hear Jesus' promise to His very best friends on earth.

" not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms (!!) if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the Way to the place where I am going."
-john 14:1-4

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

how to live.

...He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

ecclesiastes 3:11-12.

here are some pictures taken on my pa's old film camera that i carry sometimes. these images are somewhat scattered, but nice reminders of so many different moments. many of these are taken in old french mountain towns. others in our quiet granny flat in provence, where i spent lots of afternoons inside, asking Jesus to inspire my dissertation writing. and some sweet images taking me back to jolly nights with friends in glasgow, and afternoon wanderings with my very dearest friend.

all of them remind me of how to live.

with Him.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

la mer de pianos.

La Mer de Pianos from Films & Things on Vimeo.

"but it's about finding a part so that a historic piano can sing again."

Monday, January 23, 2012


“In those days, we finally chose to walk like giants and hold the world in arms grown strong with love. And there may be many things we forget in the days to come, but this will not be one of them.” -brian andreas.