Wednesday, December 30, 2009
we fought through tears with eyes broken of love.
and when we were desperate to return, we found the road was gone.
so we sat at the river and we cried out,
for though all the time had passed, it remained
that the only thing left to do was to weep.
weep for yesterday's pain that remained in the depths of discovering today.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
"I saw you all right. They wouldn't believe me. They're all so—"
From somewhere deep inside Aslan's body there came the faintest suggestion of a growl.
"I'm sorry," said Lucy, who understood some of his moods.
"I didn't mean to start slanging the others. But it wasn't my fault anyway, was it?"
The Lion looked straight into her eyes.
"Oh, Aslan," said Lucy. "You don't mean it was? How could I – I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that… oh well, I suppose I could. Yes, and it wouldn't have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good?"
Aslan said nothing.
"You mean," said Lucy rather faintly, "that it would have turned out all right – somehow? But how? Please, Aslan! Am I not to know?"
"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that."
"Oh dear," said Lucy.
"But anyone can find out what will happen," said Aslan. "If you go back to the others now, and wake them up; and tell them you have seen me again; and that you must all get up at once and follow me – what will happen? There is only one way of finding out."
"Do you mean that is what you want me to do?" gasped Lucy.
"Yes, little one," said Aslan.
"Will the others see you too?" asked Lucy.
"Certainly not at first," said Aslan. "Later on, it depends."
"But they won't believe me!" said Lucy.
"It doesn't matter," said Aslan.
"Oh dear, oh dear," said Lucy. "And I was so pleased at finding you again. And I thought you'd let me stay. And I thought you'd come roaring in and frighten all the enemies away – like last time. And now everything is going to be horrid."
"It is hard for you, little one," said Aslan. "But things never happen the same way twice. It has been hard for us all in Narnia before now."
Lucy buried her head in his mane to hide from his face. But there must have been magic in his mane. She could feel lion-strength going into her. Quite suddenly she sat up. "I'm sorry, Aslan," she said. "I'm ready now."
"Now you are a lioness," said Aslan. "And now all Narnia will be renewed. But come. We have no time to lose."
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
"if we lived for ever, what you say would be true. but we have to die, we have to leave life presently. injustice and greed would be the real things if we lived for ever. as it is, we must hold to other things, because Death is coming. i love Death-not morbidly, but because He explains. He shows me the emptiness of Money. Death and Money are the eternal foes. not Death and Life. never mind what lies behind Death, Mr Bast, but be sure that the poet and the musician and the tramp will be happier in it than the man who has never learned to say: 'I am I.'" -howard's end.
Monday, November 9, 2009
1. the weather is too frequently the topic of conversation. yuck.
2. i prefer hot drinks.
3. our newly acquired sectional is my favorite thing right now.
4. i take left over homemade soup to lunch. a lot.
5. everyone in my life is getting married/getting serious. for real...if you're looking for a special someone, come be my friend...you'll probably find yourself with a ring on in no time.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
but right then...as she opened her eyes, squinting away the tears...something glimmered at her from under the bed. she reached for it but it was just far enough that she would have to move her bed to reach it. so she pulled up the mattress and admist all the dust and random candy wrappers that hid there...she found it. it wasn't what she had been searching for. at all. but she forgot that she had even been missing what she now held in her hand. she thought back to how much it had pained her when she had thought it was lost forever. and she thought to herself that one day this would happen for the item she had searched for today. and there was gentle solace there.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Here's a brief excerpt describing the greatness of this success: "The school will have an international faculty educating, eventually, around 600 graduate students. Kim dreams ultimately of hosting an industrial park around the PUST campus, drawing firms from around the world -- a North Korean version, as bizarre as it sounds, of Palo Alto or Boston's Route 128.
There will be Internet access for all, connecting the students to an outside world that they've heretofore been instructed is a hostile and dangerous place. And among the six departments will be a school of industrial management."
What strikes me even more though....is not even the success of this University, but the testimony of this man. It's crazy.
"When James was 15 years old, he tried to enlist in the army as the Korean War broke out, but a recruiter first turned him away as too young. "I cut my finger and wrote in blood, 'I love my country,'" so the recruiter changed his mind and accepted him. He joined an army unit of 800, and by 1952 only 17 remained. The rest had been killed.
Until that point, Kim had not himself been particularly religious. He had watched his grandfather "persecute" his father for his conversion to Christianity. But on the battlefield one night, Kim read from the Gospel of St. John, which had been passed out by a U.S. Army chaplain to the troops who remained. Having watched so much of his unit get wiped out, it was verse 3:16 that spoke to him: "That whosoever shall believe in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Then and there, says Kim, "I vowed to God to work with the Chinese and the North Koreans -- then our enemies. I would devote my life to it, if I survived the war." "
Epic faith....57 years later...Pyongyang University of Science & Technology begins. James Kim & North Korea=David & Goliath version 2009.
photos & quote from: CNN MONEY.com; article by: Bill Powell
Friday, September 18, 2009
A minute to smile and an hour to weep in,
A pint of joy to a peck of trouble,
And never a laugh but the moans come double;
And that is life!
A crust and a corner that love makes precious,
With a smile to warm and the tears to refresh us;
And joy seems sweeter when cares come after,
And a moan is the finest of foils for laughter;
And that is life!
-paul laurence dunbar.
Friday, September 11, 2009
and though i still think that there's brilliant beauty in that, there's something i've missed out on. i was recently sitting with my cello and wondering why i felt such a deep gratitude towards it. i realized that it's because my cello never tells me how i should feel. instead, i'm able to play what i'm not able to say. through my cello i'm able to express all those things that i don't have an answer for yet. i've realized that in the course of being comforted through other's stories, i've fallen into a well of commiserating, and in that well, i was surrendering the pen that writes my story. i was letting my story drown in the hundreds and thousands of other stories that were beautiful, but certainly not my own.
i recently saw lymbyc systym play live and realized that i like my music without words. my heart will always flutter for brilliant songwriting, but i like it when music, every once in a while, just tells me to feel & think rather than telling me what to feel & think. i've resolved in my heart to take back the pen and write my own story again.
so far...two words have been clearly written.
Friday, September 4, 2009
then there's this. back in 2005, berlin artists michael elmgreen and ingar dragset had an idea to install a prada store in the middle of the west texas desert, close to marfa. the idea was for it to be freestanding in the middle of the desert and to let it stand as a relic. one of the funders noted that, "we loved the idea of the piece being born on oct. 1 and that it will never again be maintained. if someone spray-paints graffiti or a cowboy decides to use it as target practice or maybe a mouse or a muskrat makes a home in it, 50 years from now it will be a ruin that is a reflection of the time it was made."
then there's this beautiful video by la blogotheque down in marfa, tx. jose gonzalez. wow.
#SPLIT 13.2 - José Gonzalez - Storm
so in other words....texas, i kind of miss you. coming to see you soon...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
then on january 5 this year....this little boy arrived. my brother cried the first time he looked at his son because he looks eerily like my dad. he was born making the same facial expressions as this great man that all of us ache for. so we all sit around this beautiful blessing and watch his every move...comforted that my dad is so very alive today. he smiles like dad and laughs like dad and is the most easy going guy just like dad.
and he goes on smiling...not knowing how much he's pouring back hope into our fragile lives. he laughs from his little belly and unknowingly reminds us that dad's still wishing big for us.
the moment caleb was born i wrote this prayer in my journal:
"Lord, let today be a day that shakes heaven & brings us closer to Your Kingdom come. Let Caleb be a man who loves You radically, gives his whole life to Your glory & renown. Let his life burn as an offering to You and may he draw everyone in His life closer to Your fire with his radical abandon to Love.
Father, may Caleb be a passionate man, unrestricted by fear & bondage. May he never be afraid to fight fear and always eager to love. Jesus, give him strength to not let fear stop Love."
i felt so strongly that Caleb would be marked by his capacity to love both humbly & fiercely.
this is a picture of Caleb just a few weeks ago. look at his face....radical love already abides there, and though Caleb's life has only begun, he's already become the things i prayed for...for us.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
it's so beautiful. her album comes out on tues.
wait it out, half-life, & bad body double have already been played a gajillion times.
imogen really did it.
and i couldn't be more grateful. it's like she knew i would need it. right now. gosh. thanks, imogen...
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
here is a brief profile on sir isaac, provided by the "otter popstar's" website. enjoy.
Full Name: Sir Isaac Lime
Sir Isaac is a renowned British scientist and visiting professor at the prestigious Otterdam Institute. He became the keyboardist for the Otter PopStars after joining the other otters for an impromptu after-hours jam session at the Whisker A Go-Go. Sir Isaac is a seasoned concert pianist who has been "tickling the ivories" since the age of four. "I believe that music is an expression of the harmonic vibrations of the cosmos," says Sir Isaac, "And those who think otherwise are just silly."
his favorite things: supernovas, sub-atomic particles & the sound of his voice.
pet peeves: fast food, mathematical inaccuracies & people who neglect to put a napkin on their lap during meals.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Ever serene and fair,
And there is another sunshine,
Though it be darkness there;
Never mind faded forests, Austin,
Never mind silent fields -Here is a little forest,
Whose leaf is ever green;
Here is a brighter garden,
Where not a frost has been;
In its unfading flowers
I hear the bright bee hum:
Prithee, my brother,
Into my garden come!
image from papertissue
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
i have a girl crush on keetra. her projects are stunning and are not only extremely planned out but so thought-provoking. rising stars? anonymous hugging? what about a thousand thanks? her creativity is ridiculously inspiring. thanks, keetra.
Monday, July 27, 2009
"Father in heaven! What is a man without Thee! What is all that he knows, vast accumulation though it be, but a chipped fragment if he does not know Thee! What is all his striving, could it even encompass a world, but a half-finished work if he does not know Thee: Thee the One, who art one thing and who art all! So may Thou give to the intellect, wisdom to comprehend that one thing; to the heart, sincerity to receive this understanding; to the will, purity that wills only one thing. In prosperity may Thou grant perseverance to will one thing; amid distractions collectedness to will one thing; in suffering, patience to will one thing. Oh, Thou that giveth both the beginning and the completion, may Thou early, at the dawn of day, give to the young man the resolution to will one thing. As the day wanes, may Thou give to the old man a renewed remembrance of his first resolution, that the first may be like the last, the last like the first, in possession of a life that has willed only one thing. Alas, but this has indeed not come to pass. Something has come in between. The separation of sin lies in between. Each day, and day after day something is being placed in between: delay, blockage, interruption, delusion, corruption. So in this time of repentance may Thou give the courage once again to will one thing. True, it is an interruption of our ordinary tasks; we do lay down our work as though it were a day of rest, when the penitent (and it is only in a time of repentance that the heavy-laden worker may be quiet in the confession of sin) is along before Thee in self-accusation. This is indeed an interruption. But is an interruption that searches back into its very beginnings that it might bind up anew that which sin has separated, that in its grief it might atone for lost time, that in its anxiety it might bring to completion that which lies before it. Oh, Thou that givest both the beginning and the completion, give Thou victory in the day of need so that what neither a man's burning wish nor his determined resolution may attain to, may be granted unto him in the sorrowing of repentance: to will only one thing."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
last thursday was a productive but looong day at work. what made it so long was the strong sun that shone through the tree outside of my window...all day...beseeching me to play so relentlessly. but when i jumped in my car sooo eager to get home & finally accept my dear sun's invitation....i had a yellow "no gas" light staring me in the face. no fun. so i begrudgingly stopped at the gas station close to work and i even more begrudgingly asked the man at the window to put my $20 on tank 7. that's when i saw it. the ice cream cooler. before i knew it my hand reached into that beautifully frigid treasure box and pulled out...a. push. up. pop. this is when it happened. my summer revival. i quite gladly waited for the pump to kindly feed my car with gas while i happily licked away at my push-up pop. then i drove away so thankful for the animal collective that blared & even my sticky orange fingers.
so i decided that although summer vaca as i have known it for 13+ years is dead & gone....it will always be raging deep within me. words are not enough though....one must take action.
on monday night i was strolling through rite-aid with a dear friend and spotted this...a big mama box of this....our work freezer is now stashed with otter pops...which equally delight me. everyday on the way home from work now....i grab an otter pop, get in my car, blare the summer anthem of the day and let summer vaca come alive again.
as i've said before...growing up is overrated. but for now it can't be avoided so an otter pop & summer tunes will do.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
i love this quote by dorothea lange: "While there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes, there is another in which it proves to us how little our eyes permit us to see."
i took her with me to chicago but the camera shop i go to opens and closes during my work day so i haven't been able to develop my film yet. oof. by friiiiday i'll have little morsels of my trip to the chi. i had forgotten this feeling...the anticipation of discovering what lays on those scraps of film...discovering what that moment looked like through the lens...the thrill of opening up the envelope and getting your eager fingerprints all over the glossy images. yee hee hee. can't wait.