1 corinthians 9:26

"But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for." -Paulo Coelho
image: papertissue

soren.

i'm revisiting purity of the heart is to will one thing by soren kierkegaard again. it's one of my all-time favorites and it's calling me to itself again. i forgot how gorgeous this beginning is...

"Father in heaven! What is a man without Thee! What is all that he knows, vast accumulation though it be, but a chipped fragment if he does not know Thee! What is all his striving, could it even encompass a world, but a half-finished work if he does not know Thee: Thee the One, who art one thing and who art all! So may Thou give to the intellect, wisdom to comprehend that one thing; to the heart, sincerity to receive this understanding; to the will, purity that wills only one thing. In prosperity may Thou grant perseverance to will one thing; amid distractions collectedness to will one thing; in suffering, patience to will one thing. Oh, Thou that giveth both the beginning and the completion, may Thou early, at the dawn of day, give to the young man the resolution to will one thing. As the day wanes, may Thou give to the old man a renewed remembrance of his first resolution, that the first may be like the last, the last like the first, in possession of a life that has willed only one thing. Alas, but this has indeed not come to pass. Something has come in between. The separation of sin lies in between. Each day, and day after day something is being placed in between: delay, blockage, interruption, delusion, corruption. So in this time of repentance may Thou give the courage once again to will one thing. True, it is an interruption of our ordinary tasks; we do lay down our work as though it were a day of rest, when the penitent (and it is only in a time of repentance that the heavy-laden worker may be quiet in the confession of sin) is along before Thee in self-accusation. This is indeed an interruption. But is an interruption that searches back into its very beginnings that it might bind up anew that which sin has separated, that in its grief it might atone for lost time, that in its anxiety it might bring to completion that which lies before it. Oh, Thou that givest both the beginning and the completion, give Thou victory in the day of need so that what neither a man's burning wish nor his determined resolution may attain to, may be granted unto him in the sorrowing of repentance: to will only one thing."

thank you, Jesus....for brilliant men who walked this earth so many years before, but in speaking in such vulnerability & passion....are able to speak to the raging fears inside of me.

image from kindovermatter.blogspot.com

bob.

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.
Bob Dylan

chosen.

"If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." -- William Penn

i want to feel small.

To make us feel small in the right way is a function of art; men can only make us feel small in the wrong way. E. M. Forster

learning love.

Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us—and those around us—more effectively. Look for the learning.
— Louisa May Alcott

thank you for you. though our story is a sad one, i'm glad for it. i'm glad you showed me beauty in places i had forgotten to look. you won't be here anymore. you won't be in the car, sitting next to me. you won't be next to me on the bench, or on the couch, or laying next to me on the ground. but you'll be in every book i read, and the songs i hear. you'll be in my tears and in my laugh. your voice will tell me that i'm the most cared for person in the world. you'll be in my hand as i reach out to shake other hands...and i'll say, "hello. this is me." little will they know that what i mean is that so much of this is you.

one day i'll meet him. and i'll tell him stories about you. i'll tell him how gentle, kind, humble, patient and beautiful you were. he'll fear you at first. he'll fear never knowing my heart like you did. but soon he'll thank you. he'll find you in my questions. he'll hear you in my answers. he'll smirk as he sees you in my abandonment to joy. he'll weep with me as he sees you still in my tears. and he'll thank you for making me. he'll thank you for holding me when he wasn't there for me yet. he'll thank you for caring for me and hurting for me, before he could share my life with me. he'll thank you for fighting for me before he could tell me that i was worth his all. he'll thank you. because he'll know that so much of this....so much of this is you.

courage, kind heart.

“To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free."
-unknown

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