learning love.

Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us—and those around us—more effectively. Look for the learning.
— Louisa May Alcott

thank you for you. though our story is a sad one, i'm glad for it. i'm glad you showed me beauty in places i had forgotten to look. you won't be here anymore. you won't be in the car, sitting next to me. you won't be next to me on the bench, or on the couch, or laying next to me on the ground. but you'll be in every book i read, and the songs i hear. you'll be in my tears and in my laugh. your voice will tell me that i'm the most cared for person in the world. you'll be in my hand as i reach out to shake other hands...and i'll say, "hello. this is me." little will they know that what i mean is that so much of this is you.

one day i'll meet him. and i'll tell him stories about you. i'll tell him how gentle, kind, humble, patient and beautiful you were. he'll fear you at first. he'll fear never knowing my heart like you did. but soon he'll thank you. he'll find you in my questions. he'll hear you in my answers. he'll smirk as he sees you in my abandonment to joy. he'll weep with me as he sees you still in my tears. and he'll thank you for making me. he'll thank you for holding me when he wasn't there for me yet. he'll thank you for caring for me and hurting for me, before he could share my life with me. he'll thank you for fighting for me before he could tell me that i was worth his all. he'll thank you. because he'll know that so much of this....so much of this is you.