today i woke up and stumbled into my bathroom....when i opened my eyes and looked up, i saw him. i saw him in the downward stumble in the outside corners of my eyes and in the plumpness of my cheeks and in the shocked gaze at the mirror. i see myself becoming him & it both delights and scares me.
it delights me that i don't have to wake up in panic that i've forgotten him, because as soon as i get to the mirror, there he'll be.
it scares me because i don't get to hear what he says about this me...the me that weeps for the lost days and the me that rejoices when i recognize his spirit swelling up in me greater with each day.
it delights me that i don't have to wake up in panic that i've forgotten him, because as soon as i get to the mirror, there he'll be.
it scares me because i don't get to hear what he says about this me...the me that weeps for the lost days and the me that rejoices when i recognize his spirit swelling up in me greater with each day.
some days i wish he'd just show up and laugh with me...or at me. they'd equally delight me. other days when all i can do is mourn...i wish he'd hold me and tell me that there's something better coming. when i catch myself whistling...i wish i'd find him joining in with a triumphant grin...glad that his little girl can finally produce more than hot breath with her rounded lips. i wish i could share him with my friends. i wish i could share him with the world. i wish they knew that he was the best person i ever knew...even when i didn't know it.
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