this picture is my woah.

there are lots of pictures out there. and some of them are really really good. this one took my breath away. it kind of breaks my heart for reasons i can't explain. but i'm stuck on it.

life friends.

some sweet parting moments shared with friends who will now always be a part of me.

introducing the dutchman to wayne's world. we're such good americans.

amaretto with the brothers avett.

one of the top 3 supper gatherings of my life. truthfully.

i swear, i think carly glows. she is special.

sweet daniele's special italian drink. a little too grown up tasting for me.

my favorite chef. chez jerrique.

focaccia heaven.

jerrique in action.

....a little break with our baroquial jumping jill!

a quick wipe-down from the italian sous chef...

...and a quick and quiet (maybe a bit awkward) break with mr. bonz later...

and VOILA! a stunning beetroot risotto.

daniele wonders if we can eat such a masterpiece. i concurred.

but then quickly ate with much jolly.

a few nights and one dissertation submittal later, this silliness led

straight up to my departure...

NO ONE. not even kelly chilton can keep a straight face after making THAT face...

i'm going to miss the bagelsmith house.

my favorite dutchman.

the yummiest drink i ever had. courtesy of a bagel sister.
the dutchman.

and a going away card full of puffy sweets stickers. dawny knows me.

i LOVE HER!

and my favvvvorite flour-free cake.

....all of this led straight through the night, practically right up to departure. these are life friends. ones that could make my heart burst....and the ones that made glasgow's bitter cold, sweet and warm. looking forward to a reuniting with these dear hearts soon.

a pitter patter heart.

ringing in my ear, was this truth.

mercy triumphs over judgement.

and i thought of you. for the millionth time. i thought of you.

a year ago.

a year ago i had no clue what and who glasgow would become to me. now there's a space in me that glasgow will always be responsible for, and faces that i'll cherish and long for. a year ago i trembled in my airplane seat, unsure of how or what overtook me, and led me to the city i'd never known. now i can't imagine having spent the last year of my life anywhere else. it seems foolish to be so sure of something, but some things you can't question because of how they've changed you and known you. glasgow has become one.

glasgow, i'll take with me forever.

everything led to now. now led to then.

summer in france was perfect. i have this 30 second memory from one of our adventure filled days...it floats in and out of my mind, filling my spirit with the deeep warmth i felt in that moment. it was so warm in provence as we hitch hiked through country roads, and the three of us were in our thin summer dresses, letting most of our skin bare to the hot sun, our hair still damp from pool water and wrapped in braids. our backpack's straps buried themselves into our shoulders, but they felt light from the graciousness of adventure. we came to a tight overpass and knew we should run before the next speeding car approached...without words, we began to run...backpacks hitting our bums each time, almost pushing us on quicker into whatever it was that lay before us. i remember looking ahead of me at the two girls, the light from the sun speckling throughout as it glimmered on them through the tree branches, with their braids and dresses flying behind them...in the joy of summer's simplicity.

i'll return to that moment for a lifetime, thankful for everything that lead to that moment, and everything now that will follow.

i shouldn't wonder anymore, but i do.

i still listen to the ocean...i listen to the waves...wondering if they're still whispering our story back to me.

young man.

geez louise. colin caulfield. a big resounding >>yyyyyesssss<< to you.

i can't get enough of your lovvvvvely tunes, including this brilliant cover of my favorite beach house song...

holding on.

via tumblr.

a year later...

i started organizing my things today, preparing to leave scotland in a couple weeks. i sorted through stacks of postcards and letters from friends and family that have sustained me through this year, far away from home. but i also found what felt like relics from a year ago, when i was embarking on this journey. one of those is this scrap of paper, torn out of a journal entry that i wrote a year ago.

can't you?

young.trouble

YOUNG TROUBLE

We don’t pay much attention to the elderly.
Even though they probably know more than us
about what it all truly means.

Even when they’ve done something stellar
like helped win a war fifteen presidents ago
or built the first car
or outlived their entire families
with no special diet or exercise routine to speak of.

Even then we don’t give them much of our time
or try keep them around
close enough so we can listen.

Maybe it’s because they talk so slow
and move so slow
and we’re busy living so fast
scrambling about and trying to fit it all in
burning our youth at both ends
so by the time we get to their age
we’ll have all kinds of fantastic answers
to all kinds of amazing questions.
Fantastic answers to amazing questions…
that no one
will pay much attention to
at all.

-some food for thought by dallas clayton.

::photo from vivian maier collection::

idle ties.

i walk alone, but i feel ya,

smiling upon me, i wonder

what you have drawn on your hands today,

runes to show you remember.

idle ties, ink and dyes,

woven arms, open wide,

you're with me tonight.

put on that tape that you made for me,

it's got marc bolan and vashti

ringin' my ear like a mission bell

come and go dive in the ink well

idle ties, ink and dyes,

sink and sigh,

token charms kept near by,

you're with me tonight.

now the wind answers your telephone,

come on, sing the city soft now

well it'll get to her once you're underground,

signal can't carry in the train down.

idle ties, sing and sigh,

open arms, open wide.

you're with me tonight.

vetiver; idle ties.

crazy excited.

for the strings on this brilliant lady's new album. leslie feist. mad props.

hebrews 11:16.

instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one.

therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God,

for he has prepared a city for them.

hebrews 11:16

tell me no lies...

hey you.

image via: papertissue.tumblr.com

look for the learning.

working on my dissertation perched on the windowsill in montmartre, listening to Bowerbirds, makes something that should be terrifying much too lovely. dear art & human rights, what a tremendous team you make <3 what wonderous change we can see through you. so much gratefulness to a Papa who calls and leads us to see such things...some so terrible and some so beautiful. but all real, and with us together, in this world.

"your face is all i saw"

Vetiver - Right Away by savagehector

right away, you looked like a good friend

like someone i knew when

i lived back in ohio, long ago

a full-filled room, i couldn't make it through

caught the sight of you as you headed for the door

thought i couldn't tell it seemed just as well not to know

i waved goodbye before i tried hello

the gallery felt crowded

i couldn't see the work upon the wall

your face was all i saw.

i wonder if we had...

anything at all.

vetiver-right away; errant charm.

picture via: papertissue.

you are the nightingale.

i am the passing crow.

this song ministers to my heart.

i actually need this verse tattooed on my heart...

since, then, you have been raised with Christ,

set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. for you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

...When Christ, who is your life, appears,

then you also will appear with him in glory...

colossians 3:1-4.

picture via: papertissue.tumblr.com.